Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
