this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
