i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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