that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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