I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
there is glitter all over my balls
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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