i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
