What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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