I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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