She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
