What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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