How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
