quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
