strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You can't just leave with hair like that
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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