Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize