A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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