"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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