Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize