Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
