He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
