A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
