YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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