he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
