Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
