Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
