Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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