out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
