Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
