So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
