Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
