PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
