I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
A+ Viking dick
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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