How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
