At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
