Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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