You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize