Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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