About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
They have beer where we have blood.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
