i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
