if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
