but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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