I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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