I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize