East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
