He kissed a someone with a penis
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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