His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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