Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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