sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
