Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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