a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
