Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize