i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
