Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
