im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I believe in your delicious
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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