your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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