It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I supernannyed him into submission
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
