you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
