he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize