Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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