First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
