Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
