Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
