All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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