Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
