take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
