He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize