If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Randomize
