At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
