yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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